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Thursday, October 21, 2004
shiok.

Great. There's no one else i can talk to online le. Even though it's only 1:50am, early for my standards...Eventful night...saw Shan on tv...doing good i see...made another tee...yay...sewed like hell...fingers pricked and sore now...talked to jinli and daniel again...conference is interesting...laalaaaa...ironed my mom's clothes...and jaren's shirt which ive yet to return after SOOoooOoo long...steamed my face while printing the iron-on transfer for the tee...no point...rejuvenation wouldn't work...regeneration wouldn't work...im freaking tired and yet i can't sleep...i need to crap...i need someone to talk to...somebody....hellllllpppp....talk to me...argh...i so do not want to binge again...jus binged so much....argh....nooooooooooooo.....grrrr...sucks......my mom and dad at home todae...extremely gross...i so want my freedom back...my definition of freedom is equivalent to sleeping nude...not having any music or songs on...im the loser type that can cry when i hear songs...so NO songs...just the droning fans and my dad's snoring...tsk tsk...argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna talk talk talk!
Fine...i admit that i must be really dumb...cos i just waste all my time in the world...rotting away....but im not...im...im just kinda having a difficult time now...i don't even want to impose on anyone...cos...den again...it's all my problems...and all people can do is just go Huh....don't think so much le...there's little people can do...even though it will really mean alot to me...but i have to deal with all these myself eventually...and i cannot do it! Grr...sucks sucks sucks sucks....super gross...the last person you should treat like shit is yourself bendini...fuck you...love yourself more...for crying out loud...to tink you've been tryin to advocate that...well....high time to remind yourself le...like what period is it now? A level examinations? wad the fuck are you doing? Stagnant piece of fuckkk...and you tink u r all so great....fuck off for christ's sake...haiz...just go to NS and die there....miserable piece of shit...I represent the 95% of the ugliness of the world...the rest goes to miscellaneous stuff like old folk's home, freaks of nature, monkeys etc....argh....i almost feel self-worthy for a minute...sets in! SET IN! I mean...it's so packaged...and you don't have the package...you sound like some nasal slut...you look like some drug addict...not to mention you are some big time loser...you have no fitness to talk about...nothing...nothing at all...oh ya...you got AFF for prelims...like how motivating...feels great! no matter what you sae or do to me! I AM STILL WHAT I AM! please...the woman was talking crap...what. you thought you could somehow trick your way into thinking this? ha...please....we've got to be practical here...and what? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck am i saying now? Bendini Junior Ong Boon Kok. Stop being stoopid. FUCK OFF AND DIE!

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marla and her horse